Day 3 – July 12, 2017
My early morning prayer today, as I heard the other newborn babies crying on the mother-baby floor and laid in my bed wondering how this would all turn out for our family, was:
“Father, into your hands I commit myself and our precious baby Andrew at this moment. You are my Father. You love me and our son (and each person in my family) more than I can imagine. I trust you!”
My father-in-law has reminded me through this process that it’s significant that the Lord Jesus entrusted himself to his Father in Luke 23:46. Jesus’s Father is my Father (John 20:17). I am reminded that I have to entrust myself and Andrew to him every day, all day long – especially when feeling overwhelmed (which is easy to do in the NICU)!
Today looks like it will be a roller coaster. Good things are still happening, but they seem to be followed with normal premature baby problems. Andrew’s blood pressure and platelet counts need to stabilize. More blood transfusions. His bilirubin count is up pretty high so phototherapy has been added. He has two lights on top and another light under him.
Our mantra: Slow and steady wins the race.
In looking back to my early morning prayer, I can see that God knew I would need the reminder to commit Andrew to him today. I am exhausted. I can’t sleep. My mind won’t rest. I just plead and pray all day and all night that God will heal my baby. This whole experience is very difficult for an “passionate” person like me. People recommend not letting your emotions go too high or too low because things can change so quickly, but I just don’t operate like that.
I am learning though. God is teaching me, and I am trying to lean on Him only for strength.
Day 3 – A Roller Coaster Ride