It’s Inevitable

Over the past week our family and friends have been talking about what God taught us in 2019 and what we are looking forward to God doing in 2020. It was easy for me to come up with an answer, although not as easy for me to say it out loud. 

This past year was filled with some joys and pains, as most people who live in a fallen world experience one way or another throughout a year. 

A huge lesson God taught me is that His children don’t get some special pass on heartache when we’ve already gone through something heartbreaking. There is no magic number for difficult things we will experience. But what he showed me through this past year is that he always remains faithful. He is always by our side, even when we can’t feel him. He always loves us unconditionally and is more concerned about his children’s eternal happiness than our short time on this earth. 

Does any of this mean I understand why he has allowed me to lose 2 children? Or never have questions? Definitely not. Not only am I human, but I have a deep desire to control everything. Double whammy. But when did he ever tell us that we would know all of the answers or understand everything that happens? Not once. It’s nowhere in the Bible. 

So what do you do with that not knowing or understanding? How do you not get “stuck” in the despair and pain and questions? You make a choice. A choice to seek peace with all of the unanswered questions. A choice to have faith in something we can’t physically see but can feel all around us if we just pay attention. A choice to trust the God and Creator of the universe who loves you and promises to carry you. 

I’ve been listening to a lot of Christian music again. I stopped for a period of time, because I really didn’t feel like being reminded of God’s promises and I didn’t want to be “encouraged”. But, now that I’ve rediscovered my love for Christian music, I rely on it to keep me focused on Him throughout the day, during the times when my mind wanders to all of the “why” questions. 

Lauren Daigle’s song Inevitable has been a great reminder that God will always carry me. When the doubt and questions try to creep in, when there is darkness around me and I don’t feel like God is near to me, when I worry I will lose the rest of my children or my husband, it’s inevitable that God is with me and will carry me through whatever else is to come. 


I can feel when my mind starts to creep and to doubt
On the days when the strength in my heart’s giving out
There’s a light but it hides from me deep in the cloud
There’s a voice that I need but I don’t hear a sound
Ever running to what I can’t see
Fighting out of all my unbelief
Father, even then my song will be
I know You will always carry me
It’s inevitable
Set Your promise to play on repeat in my head
When You meet my anxiety, put it to death
Ever running to what I can’t see
Fighting out of all my unbelief
Father, even then my song will be
I know You will always carry me
It’s inevitable
It’s inevitable
It’s inevitable
It’s inevitable


God Carries Us like His Sheep

I was reading Isaiah 40 and there were a few verses that really stood out as I pictured this strong and mighty shepherd carrying his sheep. It’s hard for me to read this and not trust an everlasting God with the difficult times in life.

Verses 10-11 say “Yes, the Sovereign LORD is coming in power. He will rule with a powerful arm. See, he brings his reward with him as he comes. He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young.” 

And then verses 28-31 say “The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth. He never grows weak or weary. No one can measure the depths of his understanding. He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless. Even youths will become weak and tired, and young men will fall in exhaustion. But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.”

In addition to His word, God equips us and carries us by placing specific people in our lives, giving talent to artists who give us great Christian music, place pastors and teachers in churches who help lead us, and so much more. 

A huge way God has carried me this year is through my husband. God continues to show me how special and important Peter is in my life – as my spouse, friend, and spiritual leader. I have no doubt that God handpicked Peter to walk through life with me. It doesn’t mean that it’s easy or that I’m in some magical marriage that is unrealistic for most – marriage takes a lot of work, selflessness, self-sacrifice, compassion, forgiveness, and intentionality, on both sides. In the midst of tragedy, it’s extra difficult to stay connected because you don’t really want to talk to anyone about your feelings, you get tired of talking. But when you lean on your spouse as your rock and support, communicate everything you are feeling, and understand that they are going through the same grief and pain, it has a way of bringing you even closer together and giving you the strength needed to keep going. All things from God!

Looking forward to 2020

I don’t know exactly what 2020 will hold. I am excited about the widow’s ministry we are starting in the Dominican Republic and the opportunities that will come along with that mission. Our business has grown through the first year in ways I couldn’t have even fathomed and feel confident that year two will continue to be good and glorify God. There are plenty of people and children to help so we’ll see what doors God opens. I am anticipating that God will continue to refine me and teach me how to be more like Jesus. I’m sure my faith will be tested but I will remember through it all that it’s inevitable that God will carry me through whatever comes my way… His little sheep.

Facebook
Twitter
LinkedIn