Understanding Grief and Pain

Our understanding of grief and pain is only as great as what we have experienced personally. When the most devastating thing you have experienced happens, you can’t imagine or understand how something could be any worse. We hear and see people’s grief but we really can’t understand it fully. That’s why we should never judge or compare one person’s grief to another. The experiences life delivers are different for everyone and every individual handles that grief in a different way.

As I lay in the bed today unable to move from sadness, I think back to the day we found out Andrew had Down Syndrome. It seems so long ago now yet it was only 6 months. I was so sad that his life would be more of a struggle than normal, that he would be “different” from what I expected. I grieved and cried and asked God “Why?” so many times. All of the warnings about complications and future health issues. The grief of it was great in that moment …. If only I knew then what I know today. My experience with grief is now much different than it was even 6 months ago. So why? Why do children die? Why do parents have to endure the worst pain possible? Why so very much grief?

I wanted to share a few verses I’ve read. Not sure these are answers to my questions but it does speak to what happens when we face trials. And if, as Christians, we are to become more and more like Jesus Christ then these verses speak to how trials help with that transformation.


This one is just a reminder that all things are for our good even though we don’t understand it…

Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

I pray for the peace in this verse…

John 16:33
I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

Difficult to count this grief as joy but see what comes when we do…

James 1:2
“My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.”

I pray we will glorify God and do good in the midst of our suffering…

1 Peter 4:12,16,19
“Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you; but rejoice to the extent that you partake of Christ’s sufferings, that when His glory is revealed, you may also be glad with exceeding joy … Yet if anyone suffers as a Christian, let him not be ashamed, but let him glorify God in this matter … therefore let those who suffer according to the will of God commit their souls to Him in doing good, as to a faithful Creator.”


What grief have you dealt with?

Do you have any other verses that have encouraged during any type of grief you have experienced?