Remaining at peace during the most difficult time of your life has proved to be a great struggle and challenge. I continue to seek God’s peace daily.
If you have never had a little one in the NICU, it can be a very scary, overwhelming place. Babies fighting for their lives. Parents holding on to every positive word from their baby’s caregivers. Doctors doing all they can to give each baby the best chance at life. Machines everywhere with noises coming from them that cause anxiety and confusion. And, nurses trying to care for their babies while also comforting parents.
Despite the overwhelming nature, we were so fortunate to have spent five days in, what I consider, the best NICU in Texas. Cook Children’s hospital has a 100 bed NICU, all with private, live-in rooms. They have doctors for every issue your baby may experience, and the nurses are the most caring, wonderful I have ever met. The care Andrew received was second to none. I have full confidence that everything that could have possibly been done was done for my sweet boy.
I was prepared and would have been happy to spend the next 3+ months of my life in this place taking care of a precious little boy that I couldn’t possibly love any more than I do. I knew it would be a long journey, but I also knew we could handle it, together.
During the five days of Andrew’s life, we had the most wonderful support community surrounding us both locally and around the globe. Over 1,300 people joined us on Facebook to pray for Andrew and our family. I journaled our experience to both update our community and also have a record of this time in our lives.
As I go back and read the updates, I wonder how this could have happened. How could something that seemed so hopeful at the beginning have gone downhill so quickly? Was it false hope? Was I naive to believe this would all turn out just how I had hoped? I think the answer is that I was a mother full of hope that God would heal. I didn’t allow anything to convince me otherwise. I prayed minute by minute, every day for God’s peace during this time. The week would have been a lot worse had I given up on that hope and not kept trusting in the ultimate Healer.
Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us. – Ephesians 3:20
I pray our story brings hope to others who have experienced loss. Please share it with others and follow me on a journey through Andrew James Chase’s life – below are links to my journal from the best and worst week of my life.
2 Comments Leave a comment
I could feel this! I know those aches and terrors personally, our angel has been gone 1 month and 4 days now…. your hope and faith is inspiring, thank you!
I’m so sorry and sad for your loss, Melanie. I’ll be praying for you and your family. I can imagine this is one of the most difficult thing we will experience… with long-lasting effects. Thank you for reading and for your encouragement.